The icy air burst through the door as we pulled in the tree; one last heave as the prickly branches poked at our cold fingers. Green sprills poured all over the entry floor – my toddler clapped her hands with glee. It was a ‘big twee in the house’; her childhood wonder pulled at my heart.
He should be here to see this. The thought that ran through my head a hundred times a day once again brought emotion welling up at the back of my throat. I pushed it down and put on a smile.
I will never in my life forget the incredible thrill of adrenaline that rushed through my veins as I, at long last, made the 2 hour drive on that glorious day to pick up my husband after a long 10 months. Excitement doesn’t even begin to describe it: I was electric – my blood was on fire. It’s a miracle I made the trip in one piece! The nervous jitters, excited way-too-loud laughter, hot-cold sweat as I tried to push away that walking-down-the-aisle urge to go to the bathroom that every bride has…. it was nearly too much. I clung to my toddler for dear life, and tried to keep myself from visibly shaking.
I washed my hardwood floors today. A monumental task in this current season of my life, but I managed it. And as the smell of Murphy’s Cleaning Oil was wafting through my house, I found myself rushed back to a life, that now seems very far away, full of fear, anticipation, pain, and waiting. Continue reading