The snow beat down as I gazed out the window at the glistening world of white, a beautiful sight even as the light from a dim sky slowly began to fade. My buzzing thoughts once again had slowed long enough to stray to that forbidden dream, that forgotten longing; the telling dull ache that resonated from deep within my soul. I had been in this place before… in fact, I knew it well. But simply understanding the pain would not soothe it; ignoring it as it tugged on my heart would not make it go away. I was lonely.
The dreaded news came to my house today. As soon as the word hit my ears my stomach began to churn in nervous fear: lice. I know, it’s not cancer, but to a mom of little kids, this word holds an incredible amount of terror. We had been exposed, now it was time to check and wait and re-check and keep waiting and hope and pray and check again… until you are beyond positive that enough time has passed that it is no longer a threat. I never considered myself a worry-inclined person, I don’t struggle with anxiety, and my -most of the time- instant response to situations is ‘God’s in control’. So why is this hitting me so hard? Why am I so paralyzed by fear? It doesn’t help that my head is itching just thinking about it….